Many of us in Oswego who are in a committed relationship can appreciate that we engage such relationships wishing for comfort, joy, fulfillment and companionship. Achieving that desire also requires patience, work, understanding and acceptance.
Because of the personal stake we have in an intimate relationship, we also enjoy a potentially high return on investment as we live, love, learn and grow with our partner.
Empowered Life Therapy welcomes Oswego couples into a safe, healthy and private space where they can continue to learn about themselves and each other in strengthening their connection.
In Oswego as in the rest of the country, the nature of many relationships continues to adapt just as people do to the times. Some recent statistics are revealing.
Dating in the US
Nearly half (47%) of Americans believe dating is harder today than it was 10 years ago. More women than men tend to feel this way.
2023 data from Pew Research Center indicated that three in 10 Americans were single, and about half were open to either a committed relationship or casual dates. Among men, 56% were looking for either a committed relationship or casual dates. Among women, 44% said the same thing.
Several of the reasons for the perceived difficulty in dating included technology, impersonal interactions, casual dating norms and changing societal expectations.
Two-thirds of single individuals looking for a relationship reported that their dating life wasn't going well, and finding compatible partners remained a challenge.
Marriage in America
In 1949, 78.8% of households contained married couples. In 2022, 46.8% did so.
The number of unmarried men and women has increased, with 37% of men and 31% of women having never been married in 2022.
Divorce
Divorce rates increased across most demographic groups from 1990 to 2022. In 1990, 6.8% of men were divorced. By 2022, that figure was 8.4%. The divorce rate peaked for men in 2013 at 9%. The percentage of divorced women grew from 8.9% to 10.7% from 1990 to 2022.
These figures suggest the challenges modern relationships have faced, as well as how people now view the role of them in their lives.
Your relationship might be in a good place, and you simply want to be proactive about maintaining mutual growth and fulfillment. In other cases, a relationship might be strained because of stress, limited communication or other factors that affect comfort and trust, such as infidelity, addiction or financial problems.
Wherever you might find your relationship, you can gain greater insight and tools for repairing or reinforcing your bond with your partner through professional marriage or couples counseling at Empowered Life Therapy.
Emotionally intimate relationships satisfy our desire for companionship that nourishes love and safety in an otherwise unpredictable world.
Safety in particular proves to be vital in an intimate relationship: Without it, love is restrained. Yet at the same time, we can prevent or discourage that safety even when we're not aware.
Some of us in Oswego might move through life showing only a part of ourselves, such as the one that gets us through the day's demands and lets us interact only as needed with others.
Most of us also have a deeper self – a real self – that, by varying degrees, we stow away, guard and hesitate to fully reveal. That is the part that can struggle, fear, think, dream, doubt, create, act quirky and feel both joy and pain.
Hiding or denying that part of ourselves might help shore up our self-protection and daily survival, but it can also create increasing hurdles and a limited safe zone in an intimate relationship.
In a truly connected relationship, the true self in both us and our partner is unafraid to emerge because of a special bond that's been formed. Such safety within vulnerability involves more than our conscious awareness: It is also wired into our neural circuitry.
At Empowered Life Therapy, our marriage and couples counseling for Oswego adjusts and responds to the specific partnership's variables. For example, if we perceive it may be helpful, one area we might explore with an Oswego couple is the polyvagal theory developed by neuroscience expert Stephen Porges, Ph.D.
Within the polyvagal theory, Porges puts forth that our bodies react in physiological and neurobiological ways to heightened stress, especially when it involves perceived harm or danger.
Our autonomic nervous system regulates safety, trust and intimacy through a secondary system Porges calls the social engagement system. Within this subsystem, our senses constantly interpret external stimuli to inform our brain whether the current situation or environment is safe or hazardous.
Our emotional vulnerability in a relationship factors into this network. When we perceive that our partner is subjecting us to a stressor such as lying, rejection, harsh words or indifference, new neural pathways will form.
If those pathways multiply, they can make our innate fight-or-flight response shift into overdrive and malfunction. They may also conceivably bring us to an immobilizing freeze reaction, which is our much more primal reaction in the face of possible danger.
An overdriven fight, flight or freeze response can notably complicate a relationship. The marriage and couples counselors at Empowered Life Therapy help Oswego partners explore how our built-in neurological systems can both encourage and discourage the emotional vulnerability that healthy connections require.
With the right mindset and supporting professional guidance, even a strained relationship can heal and grow. A main element for achieving true safety, trust and intimacy is the ability of both partners to communicate – to openly share anything from seemingly minor worries to greater concerns and anxieties.
During marriage and couples counseling at Empowered Life Therapy, you and your partner might look to focus on enhancing relationship skills such as:
being present. When partners ask for the other's attention or wish to talk, they each need to be willing to fully and fairly listen and participate.
letting each have their say. In a relationship, how we communicate will usually direct whether language creates an open door or a closed gate to intimacy.
remembering our inner social engagement system. If we sense anger, pain or accusation, we need to be aware of how our subconscious brain may be processing the input. Such mindfulness can help us interpret and de-fuse an escalating exchange.
asking meaningful questions and valuing proper silence. Once our partner has spoken, we can often either counter what they said or reinforce a safe, trusting space by asking how we can help the situation. There might also be times when our role in safety in the moment might be just to be quiet and listen.
Empowered Life Therapy believes in the beauty of intimate relationships as a meaningful, fulfilling and sustaining part of our lives. If you believe your relationship would benefit from professional guidance that adapts to and with you in constructive, healthy ways, contact us today at (630) 842-6585 to learn more about our "marriage and couples counseling near me" for Oswego (IL).
References
Dating and relationships: Key findings on views and experiences in the US | Pew Research Center
The state of relationships, marriages, and living alone in the US (usafacts.org)
Dating Statistics And Facts In 2024 – Forbes Health
