Relationships in America are changing just as people are. Some state and national statistics may offer some insight into how some Plainfield couples and singles might be relating today.
According to a 2018–2022 community survey, the overall divorce rate in Illinois was 6.0% (compared with a U.S. divorce rate of 10.9%). Note the prevailing idea that half of all marriages end in divorce factors all people who have been divorced during their lives.
2023 data from Pew Research Center indicated 30% of Americans were single (32% of men and 28% of females).
The average age of people getting married has risen over time. In 2022, the average for a first marriage for men was 30 years of age and 28 for women (compared with 22.5 for men and 20 for women in 1956).
In 1949, 78.8% of all households contained married couples. In 2022, 73 years later, 46.8% of households had married couples.
The figures can potentially be interpreted in different ways by different people. What they do universally suggest is that we have yet to discover a magic formula for relationships that never end. Success is a matter of love, faith, trust and hope supported by effort and compromise.
Empowered Life Therapy works with Plainfield couples who seek to understand themselves and their partner even better in a healthy, satisfying union that offers true companionship.
Marriage & Couples Counseling Plainfield (IL)
Seeking Safe Vulnerability
Relationships that succeed are those in which partners feel they can be emotionally vulnerable. As simple as that might seem, many factors can interfere with that comfort and safety in ways that work from the inside out.
For instance, as many of us know, life can be stressful. We absorb that stress, and unless we have a sufficient outlet for it, we tend to release it upon and around those we least should. Our partner can simply be a casualty of being too close to the fallout.
Another aspect is how we have learned to cope with conflict and stress in our lives (or not), especially during our developmental years. We also occupy a cultural sphere in which we have many channels for expressing ourselves, but the same access exposes us to a much wider court of faceless opinion. Whether at home, school or work or in public, we can remain conditioned to avoid revealing who we are because it is not safe.
Complicating matters, through its media and technology, the same cultural sphere gives us easy access to distractions and privacies that can undermine intimacy with a partner.
Genuine emotional intimacy satisfies our desire for safe and fulfilling companionship in an otherwise unpredictable world. To encourage that closeness, we need to reinforce what builds the bonds between partners.
Marriage & Couples Counseling Plainfield (IL)
Polyvagal Theory
At Empowered Life Therapy, our marriage and couples counseling for Plainfield adjusts and responds to the variables within the particular partnership.
As but one example, together with you and your partner, we might determine that a deeper understanding of our neural circuitry's role in thoughts and behavior can be useful to relationship-building.
Developed by neuroscience expert Stephen Porges, Ph.D., polyvagal theory puts forth that our bodies react in physiological and neurobiological ways to heightened stress, especially when it involves perceived harm or danger.
Our autonomic nervous system regulates safety, trust and intimacy through a secondary system Porges calls the social engagement system. Within this subsystem, our senses constantly interpret external stimuli to inform our brain whether the current situation or environment is safe or hazardous.
Our emotional vulnerability in a relationship factors into this network. When we perceive that our partner is subjecting us to a stressor such as lying, rejection, harsh words or indifference, new neural pathways will form. As those pathways increase, they can shift our innate fight-or-flight response into overdrive and lead to relationship malfunction.
If on the other hand we sense emotional safety with a partner often, our social engagement system will send us “go” signals to listen, empathize, connect and collaborate.
The marriage and couples counselors at Empowered Life Therapy help Plainfield couples explore how our built-in neurological systems can both encourage and discourage the emotional vulnerability that healthy connections require.
Marriage & Couples Counseling Plainfield (IL)
Connecting Through Communication
If we find ourselves struggling or at an impasse in a relationship, here's the inspiring truth: We can reverse the course of conflict or misunderstanding and, in doing so, celebrate our significant other for the safety they represent. At the same time, we can continue building the relationship with our love, hope, trust and commitment.
A lasting, fulfilling connection can sustain itself when both partners can share anything from seemingly minor worries to the deepest concerns and anxieties without fear of belittling, rebuke or reprisal.
A main element for achieving true safety with intimacy is the ability of both partners to communicate – to openly share anything from minor worries to greater concerns and anxieties.
During marriage and couples counseling at Empowered Life Therapy, you and your partner might focus on further developing relationship skills such as:
being present. When partners ask for the other's attention or wish to talk, they each need to be willing to fully and fairly listen and participate.
letting each have their say. In a relationship, how we communicate will usually direct whether language creates an open door or a closed gate to intimacy.
remembering our inner social engagement system. If we sense stressful signals, we need to be aware of how our subconscious brain may be processing the input. Such mindfulness will help us interpret and de-fuse an escalating exchange.
asking meaningful questions and valuing proper silence. Once our partner has spoken, we can often either counter what they said or reinforce a safe, trusting space by asking how we can help the situation. There might also be times when our role in safety in the moment might be just to be quiet and listen.
understanding and respecting each other's patterns and triggers. Most people tend to become more predictable the longer we know them. Through marriage or couples counseling, partners may look to establish even greater ways of recognizing and adjusting to differing thoughts and tendencies they might have.
Marriage & Couples Counseling Near Me Plainfield (IL)
Contact Us Today
Empowered Life Therapy believes in the power of emotional safety and vulnerability within committed relationships. If you have questions about maintaining a healthy relationship or feel you would benefit from caring guidance, contact us today at (630) 842-6585 to learn more about our "marriage and couples counseling near me" for Plainfield. We welcome people of all ages and backgrounds.
References
10 Cities In Illinois With The Highest Divorce Rates For 2024
Dating Statistics And Facts In 2024 – Forbes Health
The state of relationships, marriages, and living alone in the US (usafacts.org)
